So, with school over for both kids and a long summer looming, I figured a short one-week camp for Sam would do a body good. With much fan fare and enthusiasm I talked up this environmental camp steadily as the days approached. This past Monday, enveloped in the scent of Off bug spray, Sam took off into the woods with a bunch of college kids who will likely regret this summer experience after they realize they've been bitten by a tick trying to entertain some mainliner's spoiled brat.
Anyway, I digress. On Monday afternoon I arrived to pick Sam up and he seemed happy enough climbing into the car and telling me about the toad and snake the counselors brought out for sharing time. I pressed for more and ask if he had fun. "Not really," he replied. "They make us have two circle times." Well, that's part of the fun, right? Wrong. When I tell him he has camp for four more days he groans. "I don't want to go to camp! It's too long!" True, the camp is a full day, but come on kid, you are five years old! Suck it up. It's only one week.
With my child's happiness weighing heavily on my heart I come up with an incentive. "Sam, if you finish camp and don't give me a hard time, you can get the Optimus Prime Bot Shot at the end of the week." Bingo. He is totally on board.
Tuesday brings the same reaction with some added info that some kid teased him about his name and told him he didn't want to be his friend. Now I feel really bad. I try to coax out some positive feedback, but Sam knows how to play me. Nothing. I get nothing. So, I'm left to wonder if I am the world's most selfish parent that I am making my kid go to camp from 9-3:30 just so I don't have to spend the whole day with two bickering children. Granted, it is only ONE week. But the guilt remains.
On Wednesday I suppress the guilt and pack him up for round three. He doesn't complain when we arrive, but his focus is clearly on the new toy dangling like a carrot on the proverbial stick just a few days from his grasp. "I'm getting Prime on Friday, right Mom?" Yes Sam, you are getting Prime on Friday. Out you go. Have a great time!
As I drive home from drop off I cannot get over the feeling that I have no idea what's best for my kids. Camp seemed like a good idea, but so did karate (total waste of $100), and so did swimming (another waste). And now, I'm driving 45 minutes round trip twice a day to bring him somewhere he isn't really thrilled about. And I'm bribing him to boot! WTF????
When I get home with Leo I decide that I am going to make up for my lack of insight by packing not one, but two packs of fruit snacks for Sam to have when I pick him up. The clouds part, the guilt subsides and I get on with me day. At 12:30 PM my sitter arrives to look after Leo while I get out for a bit sans kids and treat myself to a haircut. Since I don't have the kids with me there is no need for the gigantic bag I typically tote around and I relish in the lightness of carrying a real handbag into the salon instead of a plane-sized carry-on. Unfortunately, my stylist is behind and I am starting to panic that I'll have to dash mid-cut from the chair to get Sam. She assures me we have plenty of time and we do, she finishes up with just enough time for me to get there by 3:30 PM. I hurry to the car and hope there isn't any traffic. No such luck. Tiger Woods and all the other golfers have made sure of that. Panic returns and I step on the gas. Suddenly, I remember the fruit snacks! They will make up for it if I'm late I tell myself. Hmm, where are those fruit snacks? Aha, in my colossal tote!
With one hand on the wheel I fish around my bag for the snacks until I feel a soft and squishy package and my heart drops...they're WARM! Warm from being left in the hot car in my humongous bag that I wasn't carrying because I didn't want to be a mom for 40 minutes. AHHHH! One look at the warm fruit snacks and Sam is going to flip his lid like he does when his oatmeal is too hot. My "my mom is totally awesome" currency is ruined! And to top it off, I might be 2 minutes late!!!
Thinking quickly I reach out and turn the AC up all the way. I put my elbows on the steering wheel and hold the two silver packets up to the vents as I drive. This should do the trick. For the next three miles I flip the packets over to ensure even cooling and by miracle of miracles I roll up to the pick up line with a minute or two to spare and normal fruit snacks of normal temperature.
I wipe the beads of sweat from my brow as I inch up into position. I look up, see my little Sammy waiting, hold up the fruit snacks and shake them vigorously in a wild hello through the window. His face beams and he starts jumping up and down. I open the car door, and he pops in. "Are both of those for me?" You bet. "I love you Mom!"
Mission accomplished. And now for some therapy!
