Virtual Reality - emphasis on virtual

So, I have had a million and one things to write about since my last post, but one that continues to gnaw at my mind is the phenomenon of virtual reality, a.k.a. Facebook Falsies, status updates that appear awesome on the outside, but leave you questioning the authenticity of the inside.

It all started when my parents were here recently for the Easter weekend and I mentioned to my mom how everyone I know seems happier than me. She looked at me a little weird and asked, "How so?" I explained that this whole social media thing allows us into the lives of our friends and acquaintances through pictures and stories and that it just seems like everyone (well, maybe not everyone) I know has such cool stories to tell and pictures to share, etc. I mean, why would a friend post pics of her children galavanting on the slopes like a winterized version of the Swiss Family Robinson if they weren't truly having the time of their lives? Why bother? I can't remember the last time we were even able to take a family picture, let alone smile while doing it. And so I pine for the Kodak moments displayed by others and often find myself wondering, "how do they do it? How do they create these happy moments so often in their lives and what the heck am I doing wrong?"

To this my mother exclaimed,"Martha, you don't really think that's an accurate picture of their lives do you?" I thought for a moment and then answered, "Well, no, but it at least proves that they are having fun and enjoying each other's company." But does it? The truth is, these postulations are just a virtual glimpse of a likely far more complicated life. At least this is what I tell myself in order to sleep at night. I see pictures or posts of bouncing baby boys and girls with captions like, "my love," or "mommy's little love bug," and I want to throw a dirty diaper at the screen. BUT, then I remember that even I, in the throws of sleep deprivation and post partum mood swings, managed to post some uplifting pictures or make a nauseatingly joyful comment about my life, family, baby, etc. The picture most likely didn't do justice to my reality, but it was therapeutic if nothing else, a mini exercise in seeing "the good."

All in all, I've decided that these positive posts are good for the soul. Even if they don't tell the whole truth there is still truth to be told. After all, the picture of the child smiling, knee deep in sand and holding a shell he/she just found, might be the only time that child smiled during the entire beach adventure. And so, my friends, post on. If exclaiming that you love life, your children, and your husband ALL THE TIME makes you feel better, go for it. We believe you, a little. ;)

Okay, let's try this again

It's funny how even seemingly easy things become tough to accomplish when you are in the throes of raising two small boys. My extended hiatus from blogging is a result of that, but I am recommitting to it NOW.

Since my last post I've gotten really good at making excuses...I don't have anything clever to say, I don't feel inspired, I'm just too damn tired. The truth is, I still feel this way, BUT, I finally see this blog for what it is and should be...a vehicle to my sanity and my family's well being.

The last two years have been quite a ride. In short: Leo came on the scene, we all painfully adjusted to life as a family of four, I had to see a shrink for crippling anxiety, and Frank had to keep his sh*% together so that I could periodically fall apart. Where are we now? Well, Leo is two, Sam is five (in a week and a half), I am still falling apart periodically, and Frank is still keeping his sh*% together for the sake of our family.

Are we happy? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. But, at the end of every great/horrible/exhausting/hysterical day, I get to kiss two healthy children and one hardworking papa goodnight. That's something. And it is from this vantage point that I recommit to this blogging thing.

If love is a lunch box, then I am going to write about what's in it, even if it is bologna on cheap white bread with the crusts still on.